Not Married Yet
by PadfootBlack4Ever
Summary: COMPLETE! Hermione is in love with Sirius, but he's engaged now and it isn't to her, much to her disappointment. But what secret is Sirius hiding? Post Hogwarts. Post war. AU. SBOC SBHG and a little HPGW. Rated T just in case for minor language.
1. Chapter 1 Not Married Yet

Not Married Yet

Chapter 1- Not Married Yet

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"I have an announcement to make." The room got quiet as Sirius stood and spoke these words. He looked lovingly at the woman sitting beside him and announced, "Fiona and I are getting married!" 

Cries of congratulations could be heard all around the room, but my voice did not join them. I felt as though it were ice coursing through my veins rather than the blood I knew to be there. This was the worst day of my life for I am not Fiona. No, I am merely Hermione Granger the very-good-friend-of-but not-good-enough-to-be-interested-in friend of Sirius Black.

I could see Harry out of the corner of my eye give me a concerned look before standing to go congratulate his godfather. I ignored him as I stared moodily at the table. Harry knew that I was in love with Sirius. He knew because he knows me. Far too well for my liking in this particular situation. I closed my eyes for a brief moment, took a deep breath, and followed Harry's lead. Before I got too far however, a hand grabbed my arm causing me to spin on the spot and face the one who grabbed me.

"Are you okay, Hermione?" It was Ginny and her voice was filled to the brim with concern. She knew that I loved Sirius because Harry knew. Harry was never very good at keeping things from Ginny. I can't really talk, however, because I'm not very good at keeping things from her either.

"Oh, I'm just dandy. Never better actually," I said with a smile that Ginny did not believe for a moment. She said nothing but let go of my arm, shaking her head. Looking for an excuse to be a good distance from Sirius at the moment, I decided maybe it wasn't a bad idea to vent everything by talking to Ginny.

"Okay, so I'm not okay. But did you really expect me to be? The man I love is getting married and it isn't to me and now I'm about to walk up to him and congratulate him when I would much rather cut my tongue out. I'm not okay. But I will be. This is obviously something I'll just have to get over. It was one thing to push things a little when he had a girlfriend, but now he's going to get married and even I have the decency to back off. He's officially taken, I'm officially done."

Ginny looked shocked that these words just came out of my mouth. She seemed to shake herself of this look and instead place a smile on her face. "I'm proud of you, Hermione, but he's not married yet."

I copied the shocked look that Ginny had just given me a moment ago. "What are you saying, Gin? I should still go after this? Honestly, I love the way you think, but I can't do that Ginny. Please, I don't want to hurt anymore." I could feel tears prickling into my eyes and was surprised by them. Ginny noticed them too and give me a sympathetic look before moving in to hug me. All this did was make the tears that cropped up so easily in my eyes run down my face.

Ginny pulled away and said, "You go on upstairs. I'll tell him you weren't feeling well and went to lie down."

"Thanks, Gin. You're the best," I said speaking truly and gratefully.

I moved my way out of the crowded room trying to keep my face hidden. When the noise of the party became inaudible, I was almost to the stairs. I was spending the Christmas holiday's with the Weasley's and tonight was Christmas Eve. After the war, the Weasley family was declared heroes for aiding so much in the war against Voldemort. They could afford almost anything now, but they didn't let the money go to their heads. The bought a larger home, but not an unreasonably large one. They often gave money to charities and to those poorer than themselves. They were doing quite well now.

I opened the door to the guest room to which I was staying in, took off my shoes, and laid down on the bed. I stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. One thought in particular kept popping up. _How could this have happened?_ Sometime later, I heard a soft knock on my door. I sat up and told whoever it was to come in. I was expecting Ginny or Harry, but it was Sirius who walked through my door. I wanted to dramatically lie back down and groan at the unfairness of the situation, but I behaved myself and smiled at him instead.

"Hi Sirius! Congratulations!" I said as happily as I could muster.

He smiled a gorgeous smile at me and said, "Thanks, Hermione! Is it all right if I sit down?"

"Sure," I said still smiling and curled my legs to the side so that he could sit at the end of the bed. He sat down closer to me than I expected and my heart skipped a beat. I silently scolded myself for still thinking about him like this. Sirius wasn't saying anything so I wondered what I would say to him right now if I wasn't madly in love with him. I opened my mouth to ask him how it felt to be a taken man in the most excited, teasing, good-for-you way I could muster, but, at the same moment, Sirius decided to speak as well.

"Hermione, you know you're my best friend." He looked at me as to confirm this. I wondered what in the world was going to come next.

"Yes, of course. You're my best friend as well."

He stared deep into my eyes for a moment and then looked away, mouth hanging open as if he couldn't decide how to say what he wanted to say.

"What is it, Sirius?" I urged him.

He looked at me square in the eyes and said, "Hermione, I think I love you," and without hesitation he moved forward and gently placed his lips against mine. The kiss surprised me, but I closed my eyes and focused on the softness of his lips. _This must be heaven._

I heard a loud knocking and then someone calling my name. I opened my eyes was surprised to be looking at the ceiling instead of Sirius. I sat up and saw Ginny standing in the doorway looking at me strangely. I touched my hand to my lips and looked around before mentally scolding myself.

"Damn it!" I cried. Ginny came to sit by me. I pulled my legs up and hugged them, burying my face in my arms.

"What's the matter, Hermione?" Ginny asked soothingly.

"I had a dream about him," I spoke in an annoyed tone to my legs.

"Want to talk about it?" I sighed deeply and raised my head to rest it on my arms. Not looking at her, I explained the dream.

"It felt so real too; I could feel the softness of his lips and a tingle spread through my body," I finished. Sighing again, I looked at Ginny, "How long was I out anyway?"

"A little over an hour," she shrugged. "Almost everyone is gone now. Fiona went home. She said she was feeling tired."

"What about him? Is he still around?" I asked trying not to sound too hopeful that the man of my dreams, quite literally now, was still here without the woman of his. When will I get it through my head that I can't have him?

"He's downstairs playing chess with Ron."

"And losing?" I added feeling the corners of my lips turn up to form a small smile.

Ginny grinned, "Of course." After a moment, her grin faded and she adopted a concerned look instead. "Come downstairs? Mum's baked cookies. I know they're your favorites," she said hopefully and I knew that she really wanted me to come down with her.

"Fine," I smiled and rolled my eyes. "But only for the cookies… mostly."

"Yay!" she exclaimed and hugged me tightly. She then grabbed my hand and pulled me up, out of the room and then down the stairs. We made our way to the large living room area where Sirius and Ron were playing their game of chess. Harry sat close by watching intently. I smelled the plate of cookies before I spotted them sitting on a table within arms reach of the boys. I was surprised there was any left by this point. A large, heavily decorated Christmas tree was in the corner of the room and the smell of pine needles filled the room mixing with the smell of fresh made cookies. Since Harry was so absorbed in the game of chess being played in front of him and Ron had his back towards us, it was Sirius who first noticed our entrance. Upon seeing us, he smiled brightly.

"Hey Hermione, are you feeling any better?" I saw Harry look up at Sirius' greeting and I could see his expression go from concern to a small smile. Ron made an amazing move against Sirius while he was distracted, and then turned to face us, offering a smile as a greeting.

"Yes, much better, thanks." I could feel my cheeks heating up as I thought about the recent dream I had about Sirius. I hope that it wouldn't cause me to act strangely around him. Dreams make you do strange things sometimes even though you know that what happened wasn't real. It's almost as if you're afraid that somehow the other person knows you dreamt about them. I rubbed my checks as if this would help make the redness go away, but hopefully this also served to cover them so no one would notice.

"Pull up some chairs, ladies. You're missing an exciting game," Sirius smiled. I glanced at Harry who was attempting to hold back his laughter.

"Yeah, one that you're losing spectacularly," Harry said seemingly unable to contain himself. We all laughed and as Ginny and I were pulling chairs over, Sirius reached over and pushed Harry off of his chair.

"Ow," Harry said getting up and rubbing his shoulder which he must have fallen on. "What was that for?" Ginny put her chair next to Harry's and I on the other side of the table.

"For being a bad godson," Sirius said smirking with satisfaction at what he had just done. Harry was still rubbing his shoulder and Ginny laughed at him.

"Oh, you're fine," she smiled brightly. Harry looked at her and I could see a glint in his eyes. I knew what was about to come. Harry reached over and pushed Ginny off of her own chair. She flailed her arms around for a moment before losing her balance and falling to the floor with a thud.

"Watch the chessboard!" Ron said not taking his eyes off of it.

"Hey!" Ginny said getting up off the floor. "What was that for?"

"For being a bad girlfriend," Harry said grinning. I knew instantly that this was a mistake. Ginny put her hands on her hips and looked dangerously at Harry. He realized it was a mistake as well as he added hopefully, yet somewhat fearfully, "Love you?"

"Yeah, come here and let me give you a little 'love' tap," Ginny said making her way towards Harry. He let out a yelp and got up to run away from her. She chased after him and they ran into the dining room. I just chuckled and shook my head. To be perfectly honest, I was quite jealous of them. They had each other. They have love. What more could anyone want? I looked over at Sirius who was smiling at them as well. Perhaps he was just thinking of Fiona, his own love. I certainly couldn't tell which.

The boys finished their chess game, to which Ron won of course, and Ron stretched while announcing that he was going to go to bed. I assumed that Harry and Ginny weren't coming back since it had been at least ten minutes since they disappeared. Since I had just been sleeping for an hour, I wasn't quite ready to go to bed myself yet. It hit me then that I still hadn't wished Sirius congratulations on his engagement. I resisted the urge to slap my forehead for being so stupid.

"Sirius!" I said breaking the silence that had filled the room once Ron had left. He looked startled at my sudden outburst. "I'm so stupid, I completely forgot that I owe you congratulations!"

"Oh," he sounded surprised, "first of all, you're not stupid. But thank you," he said grinning. It was so obvious that he was in love. Too bad it wasn't with me. I sighed loudly, annoyed at myself for thinking such thoughts. "What's the matter," he asked suddenly sounding concerned. I hadn't intended on making the sigh audible.

"Nothing," I replied quickly; probably too quickly. "Nothing," I repeated after taking a breath. I looked at Sirius and saw that he cocked his head to the side as if not believing that for a second. I dropped my gaze and shook my head. I wasn't about to delve into what was really wrong. How could I possibly tell him that I loved him and it wasn't likely for that feeling to go away even though he was going to be getting married?

"It's just that it seems like everyone's got someone, you know?" I still didn't meet his eyes. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just couldn't. I was slightly surprised at myself for even revealing this much and I knew that if I looked into his eyes, I would find pity. Perhaps if I looked deep enough, I would be able to see love as well, but not the love for me. I heard the sound of his chair scraping against the ground as he pulled his own chair next to mine. I felt his hand on my shoulder and decided that this action was not helping my mind to forget my love for this man.

"Aw, come on. You'll find someone, I know you will. Hey," I felt his hand leave my shoulder and then felt his soft fingers under my chin instead. His touch sent a tingle through my body. He gently forced my head up so that I was looking at him. "You're smart, funny, amazingly beautiful, and any guy would be blind not to see it. Maybe he's right in front of you and you don't even realize it," Sirius said speaking softly and smiling slightly. Surely he meant generally, not literally at the moment. He took his hand away, but I still looked into his grey eyes, searching intently for any signs that he wasn't being truthful. I found none, but felt compelled to question him anyway.

"Sirius," I whispered, "you can't mean that. We are still talking about me here, aren't we?" He jokingly looked around, searching for who else he might be talking about. His action caused me to giggle softly. He looked back at me and smiled, but I shook my head. "I bet Fiona wouldn't like to hear you say that," I said looking away from him, but pleased with myself for keeping the jealousy out of my voice. I saw him wave the thought away.

"She knows that you and I are best friends. I'm sure you think that I'm charming, humorous, and very handsome," he said puffing his chest out slightly. It took all my effort to not look into his eyes and tell him that I do think that. Instead, I just laughed at him.

"Don't forget modest too," I added grinning.

"Very modest," he agreed, grinning as well. After a moment, he asked, "Want some tea?"

I was surprised by the question, but since I didn't feel like going to bed yet, having some tea with Sirius wouldn't be the worst way to spend Christmas Eve. "Sure," I told him, "I'd love some." He smiled and said he'd be right back, then headed in the direction of the kitchen.

Once he left, I stood up, stretched a little, and then took the plate of cookies over to the couch near the fireplace that currently contained a blazing fire. I picked up a cookie and was surprised, but pleased to find that it was still warm. I ate it slowly as I stared into the flames, completely lost in thought. What was I doing? Every time I'm away from Sirius, I tell myself that I have to give him up. Not that I ever had him, but give up my love for him. Yet whenever I am around him, I only want to spend more time with him. Well, I suppose there's nothing wrong with that. We're best friends, he said so himself. I smiled softly at the thought. He also said that I was beautiful, but he must have just said that to cheer me up. Even so, it was nice to hear.

"Thinking about something good?" I jumped slightly at hearing Sirius' voice next to me. He was sitting with me on the couch holding two cups of tea, just looking at me. I hadn't even noticed he'd come back.

"You could say that," I said taking one of the mugs he offered.

"Want to share with the class?" he asked jokingly. I smiled, but was silent for a moment. I tried not to get too absorbed in my thoughts.

"Thank you for cheering me up, Sirius," I said staring at the dancing flames.

"I'm glad I could make you feel better. I'm sure you would do the same for me," he spoke softly. I shivered slightly at his words. I hated that he had such effects on me. I was glad that he didn't seem to notice. We fell into a comfortable silence and soon only the sounds of the crackling fire and the occasional sip of tea could be heard.

"Hermione?" Sirius spoke some time later. His voice was hesitant. "Can I tell you something?"

"Anything," I heard myself say. This moment didn't feel real and I wondered if I was just dreaming again. A crazed thought of pinching myself cropped up in my mind, but I immediately dismissed it and turned my attention to Sirius.

He stared at the ground for a few moments, then sighed and said, "You're a good friend, Hermione." I was sure this wasn't what he originally wanted to say, but I let it be. I didn't want to make him tell me anything he didn't want to. Though that did nothing to stop me from wondering what he decided not to mention to me.

"So are you," I said softly. I heard him murmur his thanks. I set my empty mug next to the now empty plate that once held the cookies and could feel myself starting to drift off into slumber. I thought that I really should go back to my room, but I was too comfortable to move. I was warm by the fire and Sirius' presence was comforting.

I felt someone laying me down and realized that someone must have just carried me back to my room. I shivered from being away from the fire and whoever had just carried me here was now pulling a warm blanket over me. I could sense that the person was standing nearby, not having left yet. They must not realize I'm awake. I could feel the person getting closer to me. I felt myself pushing further into the mattress, uncomfortable with the amount of distance between me and this person. I wanted desperately to open my eyes, but I didn't want to startle the person.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione," Sirius whispered then placed his lips gently on my forehead. My heart skipped a beat and warmth spread throughout my body. He pulled away and I soon heard his retreating footsteps and the noise of my door quietly closing. I put my hand to the spot on my forehead where Sirius had just kissed and felt that it was still moist from his lips. I almost squealed in delight.

The last thing that I could remember thinking before giving back in to the sleep that was nagging at me was Ginny's voice saying _"...but he's not married yet."_

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AN: Yes, the story title is the same as the chapter title in this case. Anyway, hi! Thanks for reading the first chapter of this story. I have the story mostly written already so there will be daily updates. I still appreciate any feedback even though the story is almost completely written. Thanks again for reading. Next chapter will be up tomorrow night. 

PadfootBlack4Ever


	2. Chapter 2 It Was Me

Not Married Yet

Chapter 2- It Was Me

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The next morning, I woke with a familiar excitement. Christmas always made me excited. I remember when I was little I would wake up very early and unable to wait to open presents, I would wake my parents so that we could open gifts together. My heart stopped for a moment as I thought of my parents who passed just a couple years ago. They were murdered by Death Eaters. The familiar Christmas excitement considerably lessened after thinking this and I made my way downstairs with a gloomy heart.

I entered the dining room to find that most of the Weasley's were up already. Mrs. Weasley was serving breakfast to those present and once she noticed that I was up, she motioned for me to sit and immediately began filling up a plate for me. I thanked her and offered a weak smile. I found myself pushing my food around my plate more than actually eating it.

It wasn't my parents untimely death that was occupying my thoughts at the moment and for this I felt slightly ashamed. It was Sirius I was thinking about. Thinking back to the previous night, I decided that he had gone too far, stepped over some invisible line, and I wondered what he thought he was doing. At the time, I was so elated at the attention that I pushed any thoughts of his behavior not being right far from my mind.

A cry of "Merry Christmas, everyone!" distracted me from my thoughts and I looked up to find the man that was just previously occupying my thoughts now occupying my vision as well. Sirius and Fiona had entered the dining room carrying piles of presents. I didn't know that he would be coming today, but I found myself glad that he was here. Mrs. Weasley asked Sirius to place the gifts in the other room and then offered he and Fiona breakfast, to which they accepted. The table was made slightly longer so that they could fit at the table and two chairs were added next to my own chair since I was sitting at the previous end of the table. Sirius pulled the chair out for Fiona, to which she smiled brightly up at him, before sitting down next to me.

I saw him glance at me out of the corner of my eye and then look back at the toast he was buttering. "You look tired," he commented. "Long night?" I could hear the smirk in his voice. I swatted his arm playfully, but then immediately regretted doing so. I really must stop this before it gets me into trouble. My thoughts again led me to the previous night and I thought of Sirius kissing my forehead gently. It took all my willpower to not smile or blush at the thought. It didn't necessarily mean anything. Harry and Ron, who both stand taller than I, kiss the top of my head affectionately from time to time and I don't consider that to be anything out of the ordinary. _Yes, but do they do it while they think you're sleeping?_, a voice in my head asked. Not that I knew of. I sighed at the complications of everything.

"What's with all this sighing?" I heard Sirius ask me. I had been doing it a rather lot lately. "It's Christmas, you're supposed to be happy!" Easy for you to say, Sirius. You have a wonderful girl who loves you, and to be more accurate, two girls who love you and what do I have? I have the man I love going to get married to one of the girls who loves him. Take a wild guess at which one of the girls it isn't going to be. Of course I didn't say any of this out loud, but some part of me wanted to oddly enough.

"Just thinking about my parents, I suppose," I chose to say instead. It was partially true anyway.

"Oh," he said simply. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking," I looked at him to see him frowning.

Shaking my head, I said, "It's okay" and went back to pushing my food around my plate.

"They'd want you to be happy, you know," I heard him say softly even though the room was loud with the Weasley's and Harry, who was practically a Weasley anyway, chatting and laughing. I just nodded at Sirius and felt myself shaking from the effort of holding back the tears that had cropped up so suddenly. I excused myself and left the room to go into the living room where I curled up on one of the couches near the fire and sobbed quietly to myself.

Harry, who must have spotted me leaving, come into the room moments later. He sat next to me and I made no attempt to hide the tears that were staining my face. He threw his arm around my shoulders and allowed me to sob into his chest.

"Oh, Harry," I said between sobs, "everything's such a wreck". He rubbed my back comfortingly.

"Things not going well with Sirius?" he guessed. I shook my head.

"Everything's going fine, that's the problem." Although I couldn't see his face, I felt his confusion. "I still love him and he still gives me the attention that I crave from him, but I know it's not right. Over and over, I fall for him. Over and over, I try not to."

"You think he would cheat on her?" Harry mused. I sat up and looked at him, surprised that he would even wonder this.

"Of course he wouldn't," I dismissed immediately. I thought about what I had just said, then back to last night again. _Would he?_ No, of course not. _But…_ no. He wouldn't do that.

"You're right," Harry said though I couldn't tell if he meant it or if he was just saying it to amuse me. I excused myself to the bathroom that was connected to my room upstairs. I took a quick shower and magically dried and fixed my hair. By the time I went back downstairs, the Weasley's, Harry, Sirius, and Fiona were sitting around the Christmas tree, obviously waiting for me to return before beginning to open gifts.

"I'm sorry to keep you all waiting," I said sincerely. I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks and tried to cover it by rubbing it away.

"Don't worry, dear," Mrs. Weasley said kindly. I joined the group and found a pile of presents with my name on them. I smiled softly at the sights, sounds and smells of Christmas. The smell of the large pine tree, the sounds of excitement, and the sights of the overly decorated tree and brightly colored paper littering the floor were enough to put me back into a good mood.

I could hear Harry, who was near me, say to Ginny, "You dropped something. Here, let me get it". I glanced over at him and excitement filled me suddenly. As Harry dropped to one knee, my thoughts were confirmed and I had to do my best not to squeal with excitement. He lifted the small box to Ginny and opened it. "Ginny, I love you so much. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?" A collective gasp was heard throughout the room and all were focused on the couple and waiting for Ginny's reaction.

Though she was speechless for a moment, she eventually cried, "Yes, Harry!" and burst into tears. Harry placed the ring around Ginny's finger and then pulled her into a kiss. _It's about time._ I was surprised when Harry hadn't asked her a year ago. Since I was nearest to Harry, other than Ginny of course, I was the first to congratulate him. I then moved to Ginny and begged to see the ring, though I didn't have to beg too much. She was all too willing. I felt someone looking at me and I turned to see Sirius' concerned eyes on me. Though I couldn't read minds, I thought he must be thinking back to our conversation last night when I said that it seemed like everyone had someone. After our eyes had met for a moment, Sirius looked away and went to joyfully congratulate his godson.

The excitement of hearing about two engagements in less than 24 hours combined with the usual Christmas spirit was putting everyone in better than usual moods. Mrs. Weasley was especially happy since her only daughter was now engaged. She kept bursting into tears and hugging her daughter tightly then pulling away to look at the ring even though she had probably seen it more times than Ginny by now.

Ginny approached me sometime later, looking slightly relieved to be away from her mother. "Hermione, do you think I could talk to you about something?"

"Sure," I said and allowed her to lead me out of the loud room. We entered the now empty dining room and sat down.

Ginny paused for a moment, then blurted out, "Hermione, will you be my maid of honor?" I was surprised by the question, but excited about it all the same.

"Really?" Ginny nodded her head excitedly and was grinning broadly. "Yes, of course! I'd be honored," I said causing Ginny to beam at me. She hugged me tightly and then we joined everyone else in back in the living room. We passed Mrs. Weasley who was off to the kitchen to fix an extra special dinner which I was sure would turn out to be quite a delicious feast, knowing Mrs. Weasley.

I walked over to my pile of gifts and decided that I should bring them upstairs to my room. I cursed when I realized that I had left my wand in my room so unless I wanted to go all the way there to get it, I would have to carry them up. I struggled to balance everything and gasped when one of the many books slipped off the pile and fell to the floor. Fortunately, Sirius must have seen me struggling and had arrived just in time to catch the falling book.

"'Everything You Need to Know About Becoming an Animagus,'" he said reading the title and looking at me questioningly.

"Ron overheard me saying that I wanted to become one," I shrugged.

"He should have just put a bow on my head; it would have been easier since you could just ask me anything you need to know," he joked.

"Who'd want you for a Christmas gift?" I asked attempting not to smile.

"Hey!" he said feigning being upset. "Here I am ready to help you carry all your heavy gifts and you go an insult me. Nice," he said turning and folding his arms across his chest. I laughed, but doing so caused my gifts to wobble in my arms.

"Um, Sirius," I said in a slightly panicked voice. He turned to look and saw that I was about to drop everything. He quickly took the things that were about to fall. "Thanks," I said relieved. Together we carried the gifts up to my room. Sirius entered the room first and moved aside to allow me to enter.

"Where do you want them?"

"On the bed is fine," I said making my way towards the bed to put down the small pile of gifts I had been holding. I stopped short though when I saw a small box laying on my pillow, wrapped a simple black paper with a white bow.

Sirius, clearly not noticing it, wondered what made me stop. I put the gifts down on the bed and he followed suit. I walked around to the pillow and picked up small wrapped gift. Sirius came over, clearly excited.

"Oh, who's that from?" he asked. I turned the box over and over, but I couldn't find a tag.

"I don't know," I said honestly. "Maybe there's a note inside?" I asked more to myself. With trembling hands, I opened the gift. I didn't know what made me so nervous about the gift. It must have had something to do with the mystery about it. How had it gotten there and who was it from? I took the lid off the box and gasped at what was inside.

"What? What is it?" Sirius wondered excitedly. I turned to show him. In the box on a silver chain were two intertwined rhinestone hearts, one slightly larger than the other. The necklace was beautiful. Whoever it was from probably spent a lot of money on it and my mind was working furiously to think of who it could be from. I took the necklace out of the box in hopes that there would be a note in the bottom, but no such luck.

"Will you help me put it on?" I asked handing him the necklace. He nodded and took it from me. I turned around and he put the necklace around my neck. I pulled my hair away so that it was out of his way. I could feel his breath on my neck and his fingers occasion brushed up against me. His touch was driving me crazy and my heart was thumping loudly. He got the necklace clasped and asked me to turn so he could see. I did so.

"It looks beautiful. I wonder who gave it to you. Seems like maybe you've got yourself an admirer," he said winking. I reached up and felt the two hearts, finding comfort in their touch.

"Maybe," I said distractedly. Who could have given me this beautiful gift?

"Hermione?" I heard Sirius say. I snapped my attention to him and realized that he must have called my name several times already.

"I'm sorry," I spoke honestly, "what did you say?" He just chuckled.

"I can tell your minds really working to figure out who gave that to you," he said pointed to the necklace. I just nodded. "I said that Fiona and I are going to be leaving soon."

"How come?" I asked sounding more disappointed than I wanted to let on. He just smiled.

"Don't worry, I'll be back later. I promised Fiona we would spend some time with her parents today and then she'll be staying there for a few days. They invited me to stay as well, but I don't know. I don't think they really like me all that much. I'd rather be here and spend some time with you all," he explained. I nodded and the thought occurred to me that Sirius was going to be here for a few days without his fiancée. Dear me, as if this hasn't been crazy enough lately.

"I guess I'll see you later than," I said happily. He took a step towards me and wrapped his arms around me. I was slightly taken aback, but put my arms around him as well.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione," he said softly after he had pulled away from the hug. He said it the same way he had to me last night, after he kissed my forehead. He made his way towards the door, but something made me call out to him.

"Sirius," I said urgently, making him stop. He turned to face me, looking curious. "I- I," I couldn't say what I wanted to. I shook my head and said, "Merry Christmas, Sirius." He just nodded, still looking slightly curious, but left the room all the same. I moved all the gifts off my bed and collapsed onto it. As I lay down, I could feel the cool hearts slide across my collar bone and I reached my hand up to touch them. I closed my hand gently around them, drawing comfort from them. This situation was getting far too out of control.

How am I supposed to function normally with him around for the next couple days and without her around? _Hermione, how do you get yourself into these messes…_ Ginny came to find me sometime later and was excited about my mystery present. We talked about who we thought could have given it to me, but no reasonable answer came up.

The rest of the afternoon and evening passed without much incident, except for when Fred accidentally set the Christmas tree on fire. The situation was very quickly resolved and the smell of smoke cleared within a couple hours. Later in the evening, I was sitting on a couch in the living room feeling very full from all of Mrs. Weasley's meals and was reading one of the books I had gotten for Christmas when Sirius returned.

To be honest, I wasn't really reading the book so much as I was staring at the pages. I was thinking, something I've been doing quite a bit of lately. I thought back to the days when Sirius and I would argue over seemingly everything. It was the war that drew us closer. As the final battle drew nearer and nearer, I found that Sirius and I talked more and more often. We both expressed how we wouldn't be able to bear losing any of our loved ones and, somewhat surprisingly to me, it had been Sirius who was there for me when my parents had passed. A bond had formed between us during the war, one that only grew afterwards. Yet a bond had also been formed between he and Fiona. A stronger bond was formed between them, and something about seeing him with her made me uncomfortable at first. In time, I realized that I was jealous, and was ashamed of myself. I knew I should be happy for him; happy that he found his someone. I've always known that, but I could never quite convince myself to feel that way. Now they're about to get married, and I still know that I should be happy for them, but the jealousy in my heart just won't lay to rest.

"Must be a good book," I heard a voice behind me say. I turned to see Ginny looking down at me, leaning against the couch slightly. "Those two pages must be especially good. You must have read them 20 times by now since you haven't turned the page in so long." I looked back down at the book and closed it.

"Just thinking, I suppose," I said emotionlessly. Putting the book aside, I stood to go to the kitchen to get something to drink. Upon entering the dining room, I could hear voices coming from the kitchen. As I drew closer, I heard Sirius' voice.

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing?" As he said these words, I stopped knowing that this probably wasn't a conversation he wanted overheard. I was about to retreat back to the living room when I heard Harry response.

"By marrying her?" he asked. I felt slightly guilty, but I stayed where I was to listen to the conversation. My heart was pounding and I was almost afraid that they might hear it and know that I was listening. I assumed that Sirius had nodded to Harry's question when Harry then asked, "Well, do you love her?"

"Of course I do," Sirius said quickly. After pausing for a moment, he added, "I mean, she's great. She's fun to be around, has a good sense of humor, is smart and gorgeous. Of course I love her." He didn't quite seem convinced though.

"What's the problem then?" Harry wondered.

"I don't know," Sirius replied, confusion evident in his voice. "There's just been someone else that I've been thinking a lot about lately and- I don't know. I feel guilty about it, but it does make me wonder if I am doing the right thing by marrying Fiona."

"Maybe it's just wedding nerves," Harry suggested. I decided that this would be a good time for me to leave. I didn't want them to leave the kitchen and find me around the corner.

"Yeah, maybe," I heard Sirius say distractedly as I walked away. I went back to the living room and found that my book was still sitting where I had left it. I sat down again and picked it up, attempting to read it this time instead of just staring at the words.

Minutes later, I looked up to see Harry and Sirius exiting the dining room. Harry looked at me curiously for a moment, then quickly looked away and went to sit by Ginny who was looking at something Fred and George had. Sirius looked bothered by something, but when he saw me looking at him, he put on his trademark grin. I smiled back, but I noticed his smile didn't reach his eyes.

Deciding that I couldn't handle being around Sirius after just hearing that conversation, I put the book aside once again and made my way back to the kitchen, hoping I wouldn't overhear any more conversations. I drank a small glass of milk and then walked outside to the Weasley's patio which had a special warming charm placed on it to keep it warm in the cold weather. I stared out into the back garden, and wondered about what I had overheard. Sirius has had someone else on his mind lately. I wondered briefly if it was me, but dismissed it almost immediately. It couldn't be. If I thought that he meant me, it would probably just be me looking too much into the situation and twisting it to make it work out in my favor. He couldn't have meant me. But he had been thinking about someone.

"Nice night, huh?" said a voice behind me. I closed my eyes and almost wished that I had mistaken who the voice belonged to. I turned to see Sirius coming to stand next to me. I just nodded at him. We stood in silence, staring out into the night, each lost in our own thoughts. _If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with_, the quote ran through my mind. Maybe it's best to let him go, that way I can see if he really is supposed to be mine. It felt so right, calling him mine. It seems impossible that it could be wrong. Everything about Sirius just feels right. But how do I let go? Haven't I tried this before? This would take some thinking about. I noticed that Sirius kept glancing in my direction. I gave him a questioning look, but he just shook his head. After a moment, he looked at me again in such a way that it seemed he was looking for something. He turned to face me and put a hand on my shoulder. My heart raced and I knew that letting him go would not be an option for me. I turned to face him as well. The moonlight shone brightly and I could clearly see that Sirius looked unsure of something.

"Hermione, have you ever known something was right, but just didn't want to accept it?" Sirius asked looking deep into my eyes. I gave him another searching look, wondering what he was thinking. He looked down at the ground, but did not remove his hand from my shoulder. He looked up at my eyes, then at my lips, and moved closer to me. All thought was gone from my mind as he took the hand that was on my shoulder and moved it to rest gently on the side of my face. I could feel his warm breath on my face and I found that even though nothing had happened yet, this was the single most wonderful moment of my life. His lips were mere millimeters from mine and I could almost taste the sweetness of his lips. He moved forward enough to softly, almost questioningly touch his lips to my own. I was sure my heart had skipped so many beats that to say I had momentarily died wouldn't be far from the truth. He pulled away for a moment, then kissed me again, more surely this time. I put my hand on the back of his neck and parted my lips slightly as he rubbed his tongue across them. His tongue darted inside, eager to explore the confines of my mouth. He put is other arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him so that there was no space between us. His hand was rubbing my back slightly and my own hand had found its way to his hair. Nothing had ever felt so right.

"Hermione?" I heard a voice call from inside the house. I wanted to ignore it, but the voice seemed to snap Sirius out of what he was doing. He took a step back and removed his hands from me.

"I- I," he seemed unsure of what to say and had a panicked look on his face.

"Hermione?" I heard the voice again and I realized it was Ginny. She came out on the patio, looked from Sirius to myself and began to back up slowly to go back inside, "Oh, uh, never mind, I'll just…," but she didn't finish her sentence as she went back in the house. Sirius and I simply just looked at one another, both of us slightly out of breath, and Sirius' hair was sticking up like Harry's does.

"I-," he started to say again, but he just closed his eyes and shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said and went inside as well without looking at me.

I watched him go and the fullness of what had just happened hit me. It was me.

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AN: Yay Chapter 2! It's a little longer than the first chapter, but I think the first chapter was better. Well, written better anyway. Some important things happen in this chapter, as you can see. Please tell me what you thought! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed already and to anyone who kindly takes a moment to review this chapter! Next chapter will be up tomorrow night.

PadfootBlack4Ever


	3. Chapter 3 It Was Hard to Say

Not Married Yet

Chapter 3- It Was Hard to Say...

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I remained out on the patio for quite some time. Ginny returned sometime later and stood silently next to me. I found her presence comforting and she didn't ask me anything, but rather waited for me to speak if I wished to.

I wasn't sure what to feel. I just had the most amazing kiss which seemed to fill me to the very brim with life but since Sirius had gone, I just felt so empty. I had seen him standing there in the pale moonlight and I could see the panic etched in every inch of his handsome face. It was understandable why he panicked, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed about it. But what had I expected, that he would just forget that he was engaged and run off with me? What a silly though that was. Though no matter how silly or unlikely that thought was, I still wished it was so. Sirius holding me and kissing me, well…

"It just felt right," I said simply. I could see Ginny nodding out of the corner of my eye. We remained silent and motionless for some time.

"He said he was going to bed; I think it's safe for you to go in," she said sometime later, somehow knowing that I had no idea how I was supposed to act around him now. I sighed heavily and went back inside with Ginny right behind me. I said goodnight to everyone in the living room, then went upstairs to bed myself.

I laid in bed for awhile, not able to sleep, just thinking. Sirius kissing me in real life was infinitely better than him kissing me in a dream. I've kissed other guys before but there was no comparison to the kiss I had just shared with Sirius. A kiss had never felt so right. It's really the best way to describe it; it was right. Of course I feel guilty about it too. I could have stopped things, but I didn't want to. I wondered what would happen with Sirius and Fiona and what Sirius thought of our kiss. Had he felt the intense connection that I had felt? He did apologize, but I suppose that could have been in reference to anything. He could have meant that he was sorry for kissing me, or for not knowing what to say, or even for leaving me standing there alone.

I sighed as I tossed and turned for what felt like the millionth time that night. Sleep simply would not come. I thought back to the previous night when sleep had come so easily after sitting with Sirius by the warm fire. I had been so comfortable. A strange thought came over me of going and finding Sirius so that I could sleep by him, but I roughly shook my head to help rid the thought away. What a bizarre thought. Though I bet I would fall right asleep with Sirius laying next to me. I put my hands behind my head and listened to the silence, hoping it would lull me to sleep. But something broke the silence.

I could hear footsteps drawing nearer. I could tell the person was attempting to quiet their steps, but I still heard them pass by my doorway and walk down the stairs all the same. Who else could be awake at this hour? I thought about who resided in rooms further down than my own that would have to walk past mine to go downstairs. This did nothing to help narrow down the list of people who might be up since just about everyone's room was past my own. I wondered why I was so curious to know who it was. I was probably just bored and frustrated from being unable to sleep and this did take my mind off it for a moment. I decided that sleep was having a difficult enough time coming as it was and now not knowing who else was awake would be enough to bother me and keep sleep at bay for awhile. I pulled back the warm blankets and climbed out of bed. Upon reaching the door, I took my bathrobe and pulled it on, welcoming the warmth it provided. I reached my hand up to the entwined hearts around my neck as if making sure they were still there before slowly opening the door.

I walked down the stairway and had just reached the bottom when it hit me who it probably was that walked passed my doorway. After everything that's just happened, who else wouldn't be able to rest? Sirius of course. For some reason, curiosity got the best of me and I walked around to make sure that's who was up. I walked into the living room and saw a dark form knelling in front of the fireplace, clearly about to light a flame. Suddenly, a blazing fire appeared and Sirius' face lit up from the brightness of the flames. My heart thudded heavily against my chest and I went to back out of the room before he saw me standing there, but luck was not on my side.

His head snapped up and we stared at each other for a moment. I wasn't sure what to say and it seemed as if he didn't either. Of course I had to find out who else was awake. Of course it had to be Sirius. I wished I had just stayed in bed. I went to turn and walk away, but Sirius called out to me before I could do so.

"Hermione?" he called softly. He stood up and took a few steps towards me. "Do you think I could talk to you for a minute?" I was still staring into his eyes, falling into them and I was sure if I didn't look away soon, I would get lost inside them. I nodded to him and then glanced away. He walked back to one of the couches by the fire and looked up at me until I came to sit by him. I did so, but still said nothing. I wanted to know what was on his mind; he had heard too much of what's on mine.

He stared at the ground for a few moments before saying, "About what happened before," and continued to stare at the ground. I could tell he wasn't sure what direction he wanted to go in yet. It took him awhile before he continued, but I waited patiently. Finally, he looked up at me with a determined look on his face, yet with unsure eyes and said, "It shouldn't have happened."

I could feel the heat of the fire, but it was nothing compared to the fire in my heart that was heating up my anger. I found myself standing suddenly and saying in a soft, but dangerous voice, "You're wrong. It was right." I turned on my heal and moved to the direction of the stairs. His hand around mine stopped me. I turned to face him and he stared right into my eyes, seemingly searching my soul.

"You're right," he said simply. "But it still shouldn't have happened." I gave him a questioning look as he spoke these words. His hand was still holding mine, but I didn't pull my own hand away.

I looked away from him as I asked, "Why?". He squeezed my hand, but still did not let go.

"Hermione, I'm going to be marrying Fiona. I promised her that I would never hurt her. If I asked you to marry me then decided that I changed my mind, wouldn't you be hurt?"

My eyes were filling with tears and I knew my voice would be shaky if I spoke. I resolved to just nod to his question. I looked up at him and because I could not stop myself, I said in a trembling voice, "Would you have changed your mind?" He gave me a confused look.

"I just said-"

"I know," I responded quickly. I closed my eyes, took a breath, then looked at him and quietly clarified, "I meant if you had asked me to marry you, would you have changed your mind?" He stared into my eyes for a long time and I thought he wouldn't answer. I knew I was pushing the line, but he pushed it first. Finally, he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"No," he said confirming what he meant. "Hermione, in the past couple of days that we've spent here, I feel like I've found a part of myself that was missing or just hiding away. And no matter how much I try to ignore it, it doesn't go away." I flinched slightly at his words. "What?" he asked.

"Just for the past couple of days?" I wondered. He smiled at me and I could feel my heart melting.

"No, to be honest. Do you remember when we first meet?" The question struck me by surprise. What did this have to do with anything? I nodded anyway. Of course I remember that day. "It was then that it started. You were so young that I felt ashamed of myself for having such feelings for you. I always told myself that you were too young. Every year it got less and less true and every year we got closer and closer. When I met Fiona, I knew it seemed like she was perfect for me and I thought it would help push the thoughts of you away. I convinced myself that it was working, but it wasn't. It got to the point where I was with Fiona so long that I felt like it was only right to take things to the next level. I asked her to marry me, but deep down I knew she wasn't really the one who I wanted to marry. For some reason I just always thought that being with you was wrong. I was too old, you were too young; I was immature, you were mature; I was reckless, you were careful... I made thousands of excuses. But in these past couple of days, I got the chance to be near you and spend the kind of time with you that I only ever dreamed of. But I can't bring myself to hurt Fiona. I do care about her and I know if she ever found out about all of this, she would be crushed," he finished now holding onto my hand with both of his and staring down, shaking his head. I opened my mouth, about to say something, when he looked up and looked into my eyes again. "But I suppose then I'm hurting you, aren't I?"

"Have you ever known something was right but just didn't want to accept it?" I said quoting him from earlier. He gave me a small, sad smile. "Somebody has to get hurt, Sirius. Somebody always gets hurt." I slipped my hand out of his and walked down the hall towards the stairs. I climbed them and with each step I took, it was harder and harder to convince myself that what had just happened was real. I got to the landing, pushed my door open, hung my robe up, and climbed back into bed. It was cold now. Even though I was more confused than I was before about everything, my mind was exhausted and sleep came swiftly.

I woke up to the sun shining brightly through my window and lighting up the pale yellow painted room. It took me a moment to remember why I was feeling so confused, but then the memories from the previous night came flooding back to me. Sirius does have feelings for me, but he doesn't want to hurt Fiona. I was having trouble deciding if this was better or worse than my previous situation where I had no idea what Sirius was thinking.

I sat up and wondered what time it was. It must be late. I figured that most of the people in the house would be going back to their jobs today, but I knew that I wouldn't be. I set my own work hours and today was just not a good day for getting any good quality work done. I got out of bed and after a quick shower, headed downstairs for breakfast.

Mrs. Weasley was bustling about the kitchen when I walked in. "Well I was wondering when we would see you!" I wondered who she meant by 'we' since she was the only person I have encountered so far this morning. Although it was late in the morning, she happily made breakfast for me.

"Where is everyone?" I asked as I nibbled on my toast.

"Well let's see. Bill, Charlie, Fred and George went home, Arthur, Harry, Ron, and Ginny went to work, and Sirius is about somewhere. I gave him breakfast earlier but he didn't eat much and that was the last I saw of him. The poor man certainly seemed troubled by something," Mrs. Weasley explained looking curiously at me. I gave her a questioning glance, but she only smiled at me. "Mother's intuition. Even works on those close enough to being a mothers own child."

I returned her smile, but she must have noticed that I didn't want to talk about this particular subject and left the room, leaving me alone with only my thoughts and my breakfast. I thought back to the night before and wondered why Sirius and I had be quite so honest with each other. Not that honesty was bad, but we were being brutally honest about our feelings for one another. It made me smile to know that Sirius at least felt the same about me, though it was a sad smile for though he did feel the same, he said he would never act on those feelings. He had said that the perfect kiss that we shared had felt right, but it was wrong. It was all so confusing. One thing was certain. Sirius couldn't have everything. He had chosen Fiona over myself. He doesn't want to hurt her and I should respect that. I should have respected that days, months, years ago even.

I finished up my breakfast, washed and put away the dishes, and went out on the patio. For some reason I had felt drawn there. As I stood out there, eyes wandering over the gardens, though not really taking anything in, I wondered how often I could think over the same thoughts. Everything that had to do with Sirius, every thought, every memory, everything was running through my mind. Once one slipped away, another cropped up. I felt a tear falling slowly down my cheek, but I didn't bother to brush it away. It felt good to just cry at the moment.

As I thought more and more about Sirius, more and more tears ran down my face. His face appeared in my mind, another tear slipped down my cheek. He was whispering, 'Merry Christmas' to me, another tear slipped down my cheek. He was kissing me, the most perfect kiss, another tear slipped down my cheek. He was telling me that he would still marry Fiona, another tear slipped down my cheek. Suddenly all I wanted was for someone to wrap their arms around me and tell me that everything would be okay. It was all I ever wanted. What more could anyone ask for?

But no one slipped their arms around me. No one told me everything would be okay. I decided I couldn't stay in this house anymore; not while Sirius was around anyway. I found Mrs. Weasley and explained to her that I couldn't stay any longer. She said she understood and gave me a hug before helping me to collect my things that had been scattered around the house in the past couple of days.

After gathering everything together, I apparated back to my apartment. It consisted of one small everything. One small kitchen, one small living room, one small bathroom, and one small bedroom. I decided to unpack then go to the market to buy food for my near empty pantry. By the time I returned to my silent apartment, it was late afternoon and the sun would be setting soon. As I was putting the food away, I heard a knock at my door. I set the bread that I was about to put away down on the counter and opened the door to find Ginny and Harry there. After making sure that Sirius wasn't there as well, I invited them inside.

Before they spoke a word, I pleaded, "I know why you're here, but please, I don't want to go through this. This has gone way to far already and I just can't handle any more. He'll still marry her so what's the sense of pursuing it anymore? I just need to accept it and get on with my life, which is what I should have done ages ago anyway."

"You seem to be able to say that easy enough when he isn't around," Ginny remarked. My heart froze at hearing these words. They were true enough but I did not expect to hear them.

I looked down at their feet and monotonously said, "I know." I paused for a moment before adding, "That's why I needed to leave. Being around him just wasn't doing me or him any good."

"So what are you going to do," Ginny said fiercely, "just not be friends with him anymore?" I wondered why she was so seemed angry at me. Harry stood next to her looking slightly uncomfortable. I thought about what Ginny said and realized that it was the only way to solve this, however much it broke my heart.

"Yes," I spoke softly, "that's what I'll have to do. At least until I can get over this." I couldn't look at either of them because I wasn't sure what I would find if I did. Would I find anger? Pity? Sadness? Relief? Anything seemed possible.

"Hermione?" I heard Harry say and noticed that he took a step closer to me. "You and Sirius need each other, whether either of you realize it or not. I know he said he'll marry Fiona, but that doesn't mean that's what's right." I didn't answer. My mind was already made up and I knew that what I had chosen was the right thing to do. Harry and Ginny were whispering to one another, though I didn't even attempt to figure out the words. When I looked up again, I saw that they were heading for the door, Harry looking defeated and Ginny still looking angry. It still puzzled me as to what had made her so angry. I tried not to let it worry me. I didn't stop them as they left. I wanted to be alone.

I put away the rest of my groceries, lit a fire in the small fireplace in the living room, and sat by it while reading one of the new books I had received for Christmas. It was the book on animagi that Ron had given me. I thought about Sirius for a moment, but then shook my head and thought instead about what kind of animagus I would want to be. I glanced out of the window at the dark sky and decided I would want to be a bird of some sort. That way, I could fly freely through the skies, letting the rushing air flow over my wings. I would never come down if I didn't need to. Though as much as the bird can fly and get away from the ground, it always needs to return to the ground to rest and find comfort. The bird needs the sky as much as it needs the ground. Or perhaps it needed one more than the other. It was hard to say.

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AN: Before I say anything about this chapter, I forgot to add something at the end of the last chapter. During the last chapter, Hermione said this: "Over and over, I fall for him. Over and over, I try not to." This comes from a Three Days Grace song called Over and Over. The words are not exactly the same, but I just wanted to make it clear that that's where it came from originally. The whole song could almost fit perfectly into that chapter, but obviously I'm not allowed to do that. You can look up the lyrics though. It's a good song, or at least I think so.

Okay, moving on. Sad little chapter. Surprisingly though, there is but one chapter left in this story. I'm having some trouble finishing up the last chapter though so if it's not up by tomorrow night, look for it the following night. I'd say that's probably the latest it will be up. It will be much, much shorter than any of the first 3 chapters. Alright, you know the deal- I'd appreciate any feedback. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed already and to anyone who takes a moment to review this chapter! You guys are amazing and make me so happy!

PadfootBlack4Ever


	4. Chapter 4 Just As It Should be

Not Married Yet 

Chapter 4 Just As It Should Be

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**General POV**

He was sitting in the living room nervously when he heard the distinct _crack_ of someone apparating. She had come just like he asked. He hated that he had to do this, but it did have to be done. She drew nearer to him and bent down to place a soft kiss upon his cheek.

"Hey," she greeted. "What's going on?" He was sitting in an armchair with his arms resting on his legs and his hands clasp together. He didn't look at her. He couldn't. She noticed something was wrong, but put on a fake smile anyway. "You okay?" she asked concerned. He didn't answer, but continued to stare down at the ground for a moment. He slowly raised his eyes to meet hers.

"Fiona, listen…" he started slowly, but even though he hadn't even gotten to what he wanted to say yet, Fiona had a shocked look on her face. She knew what was coming.

"Are you breaking up with me?" she asked quietly, though she wanted to scream. Sirius glanced guiltily away. He had answered without even speaking. "Oh my- you're breaking up with me," she stated rather than asked. Sirius still looked guilty, but now a panicked look appeared on his face as well.

"Listen, please," he said standing and placing his hands on her shoulders. Fiona took a step back and glared coldly at him. A hurt look appeared in his eyes, but it was gone the next moment. He wasn't the one who should feel hurt. He deserved anything she threw at him. "I think you're great, I really do." She looked as if she didn't believe this for a second. "But I reserved my heart to someone else a long time ago without even realizing it. I can't give you my heart because it already has someone else's name etched on it. I just couldn't read the writing until recently. I'm sorry to put you through all of this, I really am."

She had tears in her eyes as she slipped off the engagement ring he had given her and threw it to him. She was determined not to let the tears fall. Sirius caught the ring and looked down at it turning it so that the light was gleaming off of it. When he looked up, she was just about to apparate away. He noticed the tear running down her cheek and the hurt look on her face before she disappeared. He closed his hand tightly around the ring before sinking back into the armchair.

"Well," Sirius spoke quietly to the empty room, "at least that's over." It hadn't taken him long to come to the decision to do this. Hermione had been right; he couldn't have both of them. She proved her point when she had silently left the Weasley's home the day after Christmas. It took just two days for him to realize that without her around, life just wasn't the same. It hurt that she left without saying a word to him and he knew that he didn't want her to ever leave him ever again. Breaking up with Fiona was the right thing to do, even if it did hurt her. He was confident that she could easily replace him.

Sirius took a few days to get over the loss of Fiona. While it was true that he didn't love her like he did Hermione, he would still miss her.

**Hermione's POV**

I had gone back to work the day after returning home after Christmas. It was nice to have something to distract my thoughts for awhile. New Years Eve was swiftly approaching and although Mrs. Weasley had invited me back to her home to spend it there, I declined her offer. The Weasley's home contained far too many recent memories for me to go back anytime soon. I decided to spend the night in my apartment just like any other night.

Although I had my work to distract me again, it seemed as if nothing could distract me for long. If I wasn't careful, my mind easily slipped back to thoughts of Sirius. It was hard not to with everything that had happened in the past few days. I found it mentally straining to be working and shoo away the thoughts of Sirius at the same time. I often arrived home from work, made myself dinner, then attempted to relax for the remainder of the evening, but it was easier said than done.

On the night of New Years Eve, I was so exhausted that I allowed myself to get carried away with the thoughts of Sirius. I thought of everything that had happened, and I wondered what he might be doing now. He was probably all cuddled up with Fiona awaiting the new year which would undoubtedly, in time, bring their wedding. I wondered if I would be invited. Of course I would be, but the real question was if I would attend. I wasn't sure I would be able to bring myself to attend the celebration of him marrying someone else.

I let my mind wander to thoughts of what might have happened if he had never met Fiona. I knew this was a terrible thought, but I allowed my mind to wander. I thought of Sirius coming to my apartment and cuddling up with me awaiting the new year that would bring our marriage. Previous to Sirius kissing me only days ago, I had thought that I would fit perfectly into his arms, though I didn't know how I was so sure of this. My thoughts were confirmed as Sirius held me in his arms that night.

I jumped as I heard a knock on my door. I pulled the blanket off that I had wrapped around myself and went to answer the door. I hadn't been cold, I just always found comfort in a blanket wrapped around me. I tingle swept through my body as I opened the door to find Sirius standing there, leaning against the doorframe, looking anxious.

"S-Sirius," I stammered, genuinely surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"

He spoke not a word, but took a step towards me, put his hands on my waist, and brought his lips down to mine as though he needed this in order to live. I was too shocked to pull away, but within moments my mind got foggy and I threw my arms around his neck, no longer caring of the consequences. His tongue begged entrance to which I gladly admitted. My heart was racing with excitement and my mind was in complete bliss. I was greatly disappointed when Sirius pulled back, though he did not step away. He held me with one arm and brought the other up to stroke my hair lightly as he smiled softly at me.

I welcomed his touch, but as the fog rolled away from my mind, I wondered again what he was doing here and more importantly, what was he doing? My heart froze as I realized what had just happened even though I had told myself a thousand times over it should never happen again. As though he could read my thoughts, he answered my unspoken question.

"I broke up with Fiona. You were right. This is right," he gently said. I stared up at him with wide eyes. I had never expected this. "Don't look so surprised," he said still smiling softly at me. "What's right always works out in the end." I returned his smile at this, but then shook my head slightly.

"What about Fiona? Is she okay?" As I spoke these words, I almost regretted them. Sirius looked guiltily away.

"She wasn't all that happy with me, but she'll be okay. She's strong. I'm confident that she'll be able to find someone who can make her happier than I could have. This was hard on me, too. It was like losing a friend." His eyes told me that he wasn't seeing my apartment anymore but was looking through his memories. He looked back at me and offered me a gentle smile. "But I came here to be with you because I couldn't spend another moment without you. I realized when you disappeared on me that I didn't like it when you weren't around."

I smiled at his words and put my head against his chest. "I've never wanted to spend a moment without you, but you weren't making this easy on me," I told him while I listened to his heart beating softly.

He went back to stroking my hair and said softly, "I know. But everything will be okay now." I held on to him tighter when he said this. How could he know that this is all I've ever wanted?

**The following Christmas…**

"Merry Christmas, love," Sirius softly spoke as he kissed my cheek. He grinned widely as he pulled away and lifted my shirt to press his lips to my rounded belly. "And Merry Christmas to you too little one." I smiled fondly at him. "Let me see it again," he begged suddenly. His eyes were pleading with me, but I rolled my eyes at him.

"Sirius, it's been there for months now," I reminded him. Of course he knew this full well.

"Please? I just like to look at it," he said sounding like a child who really wanted something. I sighed at him, but smiled all the same as I gave him my hand. He held it tenderly and looked at the ring upon my finger. Kissing my hand softly, he said, "I just like to know that no one else can have you." I smiled at him and he gently pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. We sat in the living room of our home, watching the snow gently falling outside. Sirius had his hand on my belly as though protecting it, and I kept my hand atop of his. As we sat there together watching the snow fall, I knew everything was just as it should be.

* * *

AN: Eh... I was not happy with this chapter. I might eventually rewrite it, but it is what it is for now. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little story. This is my second completed story. If you've read JASC, then I don't know what it is about New Years Eve. Just seems like a perfect time. So please let me know what you thought. I'm sorry if you're disappointed with this chapter. I'm awful at writing in third person, but I had to for the beginning of the chapter. 

Here are some things that didn't make it into the story, but you might be curious about anyway:

Hermione's occupation is a spell researcher. She attempts to create new spells.

Sirius is a Professor at Hogwarts.

This was 2 years after the Trio graduated Hogwarts. Voldemort was defeated at the end of their 7th year.

Harry/Ginny and Sirius/Hermione shared a wedding during the summer between the two Christmas' mentioned.

The thought just occurred to me to write a companion to this story of the time between the two Christmas'. Would anyone be interested in that? I'll admit that I would like to finish the story I started before this one before I start another new story, but just out of curiosity, let me know. Okay, well I hope you enjoyed. I'll put a note in my profile if I decide to rewrite this chapter or write the companion. If I did rewrite this chapter, nothing drastic would change. I just wasn't happy with the quality of the writing, not necessarily the content. Well, I'm blathering again, so I'll just let you review or ignore me... whatever you choose to do. Thanks for reading!

PadfootBlack4Ever

_Completed at 8:08pm _


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